Friends With Benefits/Hooking Up Defined

If you are a parent leaving in this day and age with teenagers in the house or pre- teens, there are certain terms that you cannot avoid knowing the definitions, lest you are viewed redundant and your child ends up in a mess and yu are left wondering where were you?
Must know words for present day parents include:

Friends With Benefit(FWB):

1.The site Urban Dictionary has a variety of definitions as to the present use of the term friends with benefit, among them include:

1. A relationship where a man and a woman enjoy having sex with one another, but do not see each other as potential relationship material. Friends with benefits usually never works successfully with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends or anyone else you might have feelings for. The benefits are not exclusive, buyer beware!(most voted upon use)
2.  Friends with benefits can do things couples can do except without being labeled as a BOYFRIEND and a GIRLFRIEND, when you ask if they want to be friends with benefits with you, you both have to agree on what those BENEFITS are, and it doesn't have to contain sex. If you both agree on sex, then it's also considered as friends with benefits. 

Example:Guy: Want to be friends with benefits?Girl: Sure, but what are the benefits?Guy: Hugging, kissing, holding hands.Girl: No sex?Guy: NopeGirl: Okay sure then.

2. ABOUT.COM defines it this way:

An agreement between two people who are both friends and physically attracted to one another to have a sexual relationship. Neither party is considered committed to the other, and both can start dating someone else at any time with prior warning. A friends with benefits arrangement is not considered dating, a relationship or even casual dating by most people who use the term. 

How popular is this new phenomena: Psychology Today Blog discusses  a survey done by researchers at Wayne State University in Detroit and Michigan State in East Lansing.The report which involved interviewing 125 undergraduates (65 women, 60 men) found out that Sixty percent  of those interviewed i.e.40 men &35 women said they'd been involved in an FWB relationship, and about one-third were in one when surveyed.

Suffice to say with the digital divide having been narrowed by the internet and local Tv and Radio stations featuring talk on Friends With Benefits , i wouldn't be surprised if teenagers and young adults in local schools ,colleges and universities in Kenya engaging in the vice; In fact the trend has been described as "a cultural signature of today's college and post college experience"

However certain Dangers accompany the trend ,including:

1. Inherent danger of Sexually Transmitted Disesaes(STD)associated with casual sex ,Unwanted Pregnancies, Abortion...etc.
2.Fatal Attractions /Murder etc
3.Emotional Instability, Guilty Consciences
4.The Vice encourages ,dishonesty,selfishness and me first attitudes.

Without doubt the above list is not exhaustive the Physical, Psychological ,Spiritual and moral dangers associated with this practice far outweigh any temporary pleasures that such un inhibited sexual relationship may bring.It is therefore important that parents take the lead in safeguarding their youths from engaging in practices that will hinder the development of the youth into successful and respectable members of society.

(For more information see this NewYork Times Article:Friends With Benefits ,and Stress Too )

"Sexting" Gaining Popularity Among Kenyan Youths !

It is now readily in the public domain that young boys and girls/teenagers are engaging in sex at an early age than traditionally was. Worse is that most are engaging in unprotected casual sex with multiple partners .This has been the subject of media commentaries this week with talks of supplying Kids with condoms in Kenyan schools being fronted by so called"experts"  as a necessary precaution. That issue in itself is a moral minefield with divergent views. However unknown to many parents a new culture is slowly driving the youths to this 'uncanny' behavior and inordinate interest in sex;" sexting !".

Sexting has been defined as "the act of sending sexually explicit messages[content] or photos electronically, primarily between cell/mobile phones" according to Wikipedia..Sexting or Sex texting involves sending or receiving text messages with sexual content often in the form of nude photos, stripping of clothes,sex videos etc.Sexting has become increasingly popular in the West where it is believed that atleast  one in every five youths has engaged in the habit.The age group particularly affected being from age 11 to 24 years. It is viewed as normal albeit cool to send nude photos to ones girlfriend or boyfriend as a sign of affection.The results can be extremely disastrous as was exhibited in the case of 18 year old American High School student Jessica Logan who committed suicide after her "sextexts" were posted on the internet(see the News item) probably by a jilted lover or jealous friend. Unfortunately most parents are unaware of this development and insist on buying the latest phone models with immense capabilities only to discover that technology wrongly used is corroding societal values with disastrous effects.In any case it is death dealing. Certain States in the USA, Canada and Australia have enacted legislation to curb the practice.

In Kenya sexting is rife , a casual talk with one youth indeed revealed that primary school students as low as in standard four(nine year old's) were frequenting pornographic sites and exchanging sexually explicit photos over their mobile phones. It is not doubt that the intimacy behind sex has been reduced to casual physical affair. Sexting is habit that needs drastic action to be curbed. As for parents make sure you know what your child is up to and discuss this issues openly lest yours becomes the next fatal victim of sexual predators.